In case you need to hear it today: you are not a bad girl.
One of the podcasts I really enjoy is Glennon Doy;e and Abby Wambach’s “WeCanDoHardThings” which you can find wherever you listen to podcasts and also on Glennon Doyle’s website.
Her recent interview with Tarana Burke, an activist and founder of the #Metoo movement, just released her book “Unbound,” and she had some pretty profound pieces for us to remember. What really stood out to me in this interview is her assertion that we are leaving out some huge pieces with our daughters when we are parenting them.
We love our children, of course, but are we loving them in the way THEY need or the way we need?
- Are we protecting our communities more than our daughters?
- Are we staying silent about the abuse of our daughters, our girls, to not bring some perceived shame or embarrassment upon our families and our communities?
- Are we sacrificing them by not fighting for them? Our girls who have already been devastated by another person’s actions against them??
We give our girls so many rules, right? To keep them safe … don’t talk to strangers, don’t go with that boy after dark, don’t miss your curfew, etc… You get the idea.
But, what if we followed these rules as girls? Or even bigger, what if we didn’t? And we were raped, victimized and/or assaulted? Does that mean we deserved it cuz we broke a rule, or we weren’t diligent enough? Or, is there a better message to deliver to our girls and a better way to raise our boys? We must socialize our boys completely different which I wrote about in this blog post here.
What Tarana strongly feels is that we need to also give our girls the message that YOU ARE NOT BAD.
IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.
IT NEVER IS YOUR FAULT.
Instead of focusing on what they could’ve done differently in that moment, let’s remind them that no matter what happens to them:
- You are still good.
- You are enough.
- You are worthy of love and respect.
Let’s stop victim blaming and start giving our girls the tools they need to heal and to honor their own hurt and pain.
No more sacrificing their feelings by ignoring their truth, by excusing away what happened to them, or hiding the abuse behind a locked door.
Putting light on abuse is the first step in healing for our daughters.
Listening to their story and believing them is so powerful and healing.
Let’s work together to begin rallying around our daughters and the girls in our communities by believing them, by honoring their truth, and by working together to give them the strength to work through the hurt and pain that others have caused them.
They deserve it: we must break the cycle of abuse and silence by speaking up and out. For them. For us. For a better world.
If you have a young girl in your own life that needs support to work through their own hurt and pain, we’ve got you. Our girl experts are here to help.
If you are a grown woman who is also hiding your hurt and pain behind shame and secrets, we are a safe place to begin working through this and empowering you to take back your life.
Remember, you can schedule a session right now by clicking here.
