This past month has been rough. Rough particularly for those of us who have been assaulted or harassed in the past. And as you guessed, it’s happened to us too. And that has made the recent events displayed for all of us to witness, even more triggering and traumatizing. It is a constant reminder of why we DON’T tell, why we don’t feel safe while moving around this world and why we don’t trust men 100%.
As a girl who grew up in the 80s before sexual harassment was even talked about openly or against the law, assault and harassment was very commonplace for me.
My story was like most of yours: I was assaulted in high school while on a date with a rival high school football team quarterback when I refused to “put out” after he took me out on our first date.
I guess I should’ve known what he was looking for because why would someone like that, take someone like me out?
Ahh, here’s where my self-esteem came out to play.
Luckily, I was able to fight him off enough that he stopped. The fact that I had to fight him off “enough” is troubling all by itself but this is our reality. Still. 30 years later.
And sadly, there are more stories of sexual harassment at my jobs over the years, by men that I knew or just happened to cross their path during a social event.
You get used it. You learn to put up an armor so that the stares, the verbal suggestions, the unwanted touches, the crude gestures that are commonplace, don’t hurt you anymore. But here’s an idea:
Why don’t we focus on socializing our boys about consent, teach them that NO is a complete sentence?
Why don’t we show them how to respect women and to stop valuing them for their physical appearance, instead of teaching our girls to be afraid?? To be “careful,” to not walk at night, to not live/travel/walk alone, or wear “suggestive” clothing because then we might be “asking for it.”
Does anyone else see how fucked up this is and has been?? How we’ve been going about this the wrong way?
Why are WE making ourselves smaller just so boys & men can move around this world freely like they own it?? Why has adjusting to their aggressive, disrespectful, dishonoring and savage behavior become the norm for us?
How about we begin standing firm in our power? Reminding ourselves that our FUTURE IS FEMALE and that WE are more powerful than anyone has given us credit for! That our time is NOW.
Dismantling this age-old guard of men’s superiority and entitlement is the first step in changing the course of our girls and women. We do this by what Dr. Ford has done: speaking our truth. Demand that this behavior will no longer be ignored. That if we’re assaulted or harassed, WE. WILL. TELL. And they will listen. If they don’t, we’ll scream louder until our voices are no longer ignored. Enough!
If you’ve been re-triggered by these past events and it’s time to share your own story, your own pain, your own pushed down, ignored voice … WE GOT YOU! No one knows better than us what you’ve been through and we’re here to help you. To listen to you. To honor your story and to share in your pain. This is where true healing begins: between us and you.
Our connection is so important because we are ALL CONNECTED.
And connection is what Empowered Connections’ team does best. Schedule your appointment now. We look forward to supporting you!