This is a common response we get in our therapy sessions when we do future focus work with our clients.
Isn’t it interesting how we as women, tend to put everyone else’s needs in front of ours for so long that we forget what the hell we even want anymore?
What we LIKE?
What we ENJOY doing?
It’s so crazy to think but so true!
So, we offer up an alternative approach to this (which is found in loads of books taught by many so this is not an original idea here), which helps through the process of elimination.
Let’s flip this shit around and instead list all the things we don’t want.
If you don’t know what you want, how about we focus on what you DON’T want?
An example of answers we’ve seen over the years could be:
- I don’t want to be overweight anymore.
- I don’t want to be in a sexless marriage any longer.
- I hate the distance between my oldest daughter and I.
- I don’t want this debt to follow me into retirement.
- I don’t want to keep smoking, overeating, overspending, etc. (You fill in the blank here)
By listing all the things you don’t want, we next look at each one and turn it into a goal of what you could want.
“I don’t want to be overweight anymore” could turn into “I want to walk 3 times a week”
“I don’t want to be in a sexless marriage any longer” could be “I want to feel loved and cherished by my partner” which could then propel you into couples counseling or even re-evaluating your marriage.
Do you see what we did here? It’s a simple and effective answer to those of us who are struggling to figure out what exactly we want our life to look like and how we want to feel.
As always, if you need help and guidance figuring out your life’s path, we got you! Click here to schedule online quickly and easily.
We look forward to working with you soon!