Ever wonder why or how you got paired with a specific individual that really brings you down?
You know who I’m talking about: that friend who is a negative nelly or that partner who makes your head spin around or your claws come out. That asshat you dated who cheated and lied on the regular.
There’s a theory in psychology about relationships and that they are mirrors to our unconscious workings.
This means that we are often paired unconsciously with someone who can either bring out our worst or our best depending on how much we’re grown emotionally.
Or put another way: my misery loves your company.
The theory is that we are drawn to them because they may have some qualities that we wish we had, or they feel energetically the same way to us as our abusive parent did when we were growing up, so it’s familiar… As fucked up as that sounds, it’s true.
{Whew, I recognize that one because I married my dad energetically and boy was it horrific, but I learned some great lessons!}
…That partner who is passive aggressive just like the way your grandma was to you growing up?
You recognize that bullshit cuz you lived it your whole childhood.
…That friend you’re still hanging on to because you grew up with them, but they are always in competition with you and whatever you do, they’ve done better?
There’s a part of you that feels guilty about leaving her behind.
…That person who used to criticize your body shape and weight?
It’s possible their words are exactly what you said to yourself secretly.
…Or even more fun is when you are attracted to someone who is a commitment phobe and a saboteur of any relationship.
This could be because YOU are actually unconsciously afraid of getting hurt by anyone you love because of how you grew up. So you unconsciously on purpose find people who will give you an excuse to dump them thus keeping you safe from heartache. Can you follow that? Haha, it’s a lot I know.
Slow, deep breaths. You can do this.
Do you see what you do in these relationships? And by you, I mean ALL OF US do this.
We repeat the patterns that cause us pain until we don’t any longer. That is, until we deal with them.
We are attracted to people who make us feel the way we think we should feel.
We create relationship dynamics with people who treat us the way we think we deserve to be treated.
Once this inner rhetoric changes, we can begin changing our relationships and attract those into our lives who are now mirroring how awesome we deep down inside, KNOW, we are.
You won’t be interested anymore in people who don’t treat you well, who disrespect you, who ignore you, abuse you, neglect you.
Those days will be over.
But first you must do the work to uncover your own personal demons and inner messages about who you think you are or should be.
It’s not easy, but it’s so effective once you’ve got them under control.
That’s where we come in. We do this work all day every day and are super proficient and great at identifying patterns, themes, and connections. Let us help you get this stuff in order so that you are not attracting misery and hurt into your life anymore. We’ve got you! You can schedule here now easily and securely. We look forward to serving you!