I know, I know. You’re like whaaattt is this chick talking about? Haven’t you been taught your whole life that jealousy is a bad thing? That you should never ever covet what your neighbor has or that it’s a cardinal sin to feel the green-eyed monster?
Well today girls and girls, we’re going to change the way you think about this loaded, triggering word. Bear with me:
Imagine you see your best friend living this great life: traveling to Italy where she can eat fresh homemade pasta and drink local wine, all the while sitting across from her love where they laugh and talk their days & nights away. {All recorded by the way on the ‘gram … this is how you know what they’re experiencing cuz following them around and spying on them would be WEIRD.}
Anyhoo, back to the social media glam trip your bestie is on. You feel it in your gut.
That slow burn of jealousy. And then here it comes. The pious angel on your shoulder that says “girl, stop being jealous of Mandy’s (insert your bestie’s name here) trip. You know it’s ugly to covet things you can’t have.”
But that green bitch on the other side? She’s like “damn, why can’t you have that? Why does she get to do all the fun stuff while you’re stuck here slogging away like a servant for this company you hate???”
Back and forth they go. This causes you to feel sick to your stomach, maybe have some flare ups of anxiety, some racing thoughts and the best feeling of all, GUILT.
Yes, you feel guilty for even wanting what she has or wishing you had it. You feel guilty for not being SO happy that Mandy is enjoying her 2-week trip that she’s wanted to take for years. Why can’t you be like everyone else, you ask yourself?
So, here’s where I want you to start changing the way you look at jealousy. Yes, all of these responses are NORMAL. Everyone experiences them but I’m challenging you to use this normal, gut reactions as a light. A mirror even.
Jealousy is really a sign, a nudge, a push that what you’re feeling jealous about? Is WHAT. YOU. WANT.
So you’re jealous of Mandy’s Italy trip? Cuz you want to do that and go there! That promotion Tee received at work? You also want that! That Kate Spade crossover your sister-in-law has? You want it.
Here’s what I’m encouraging you to do with this information. First let the feelings just flow over you. Don’t react. Instead, take notes.
Jealousy will now be your guide. It’s telling you that you need to start doing these things for yourself, planning these trips, saving for that purse, studying for that promotion. Use it for good and as a push to achieve the things you want.
This is particularly helpful if jealousy comes out of nowhere with something you NEVER realized before that you want. Maybe it’s not working Friday’s ever again after seeing your cousin do this. Or maybe it’s staying in your pj’s all day Sundays, guilt free. Or maybe it’s a bigger goal like quitting that job you hate and finally opening your own book store. Or going back to school to achieve your degree after seeing your co-worker graduate with your bachelor’s.
The list is endless, but the bottom line is you only live this life once as YOU (depending on what you believe of course) so why not take advantage of NOW and begin living the life you’ve always dreamed of?
Why are you waiting?
Are you afraid?
Stuck?
We got you! If you need a sideline cheerleader, a woman who’s been there and can encourage you to do the same, we are the place to go! Our rock star group of women therapists are waiting to help you get unstuck, make friends with your jealousy and begin living. You can schedule NOW online easily and quickly by clicking here. Or if you’re an old-fashioned gal with questions, you can call our Administrative Goddess Monday through Friday from 9 am to 5 pm at 301-690-0779, extension 700.
See you soon!
