Y’all know I love to go to the movies at least once a week and last week I was super excited to check out the movie Blue Bayou as it’s been on my “must watch” list. I was not disappointed! It was gritty, layered and textured with these rich characters and the heartbreaking impact of deportation in our country. {Soo much to unpack there for a later time.}
What struck me and made me write this post, is when the main character, Antonio, asks his daughter Jessie if her thought was a “blue thought or a true thought?”
Holy shit, the light-bulb went off in my mind! I thought wow, what a great question to ask ourselves or our kiddos whenever they or we have a thought that is negative.
Is that a blue thought or a true thought?
This question simply means to ask them – or yourself – if your thought is based on feeling sad at the moment (or defeated, overwhelmed, stressed out, worried, anxious… you get where I’m going here,) or is it a thought based on facts?
We do this all the time in our therapy and coaching sessions — the micro-examination of a thought that is giving you issues. This is just another way to do that. Let’s check it out.
Here are some examples of “blue thoughts vs. true thoughts” we see regularly with our clients:
1. “I’ll never find a job, I’ll be unemployed forever” – ok blue thought or true thought? Are you feeling defeated because you applied to 27 jobs and haven’t heard back? Is this a thought based on facts or is it based on how you’re feeling today?
2. “I’m not good enough” – blue thought or true thought? Are you feeling sad because you’re in between relationships or just had a fight with your uncle? Is this a true statement? Of course it’s NOT but see how your brain just automatically goes there whenever you’re feeling down and sad??
3. “I’m not going to pass 9th grade and I’ll never amount to anything” – blue thought or true thought? Ask your daughter the question when they come to you! Listen to their answer and then break down the pieces they give you: are they feeling overwhelmed because they have a lot of work this semester? Are they putting too much pressure on themselves to be perfect? Are they feeling discouraged because they failed a test? Now you have more information with which to help them manage their big feelings.
Ok so that’s it! Simple screening question that has big impacts because it gives you and them way more information with which to begin troubleshooting.
If your daughter needs extra support with this stuff, we’ve got you! As you know we have therapists who are experts in girls, teen girls and our college aged women who are juggling all the things and feeling overwhelmed/stressed/defeated by it all. You can schedule here now.
