Who are you always making excuses for when they treat you like shit?
Who at work is always asking you to do things for them that they should be doing, even though you have a ton of work you still need to do?
You know who they are!!
It’s time to STOP. Time to resign from that Search & Rescue Team of which you’re the Captain.
Yes, I see you. I know what you’re doing. And it’s time my dear, to quit it.
Take a quick look around in your social circle and I bet there’s one or two people there that you’ve given tons of hall passes to.
Maybe it’s your sister who makes plans with you and then bails. Instead of approaching her and letting her know this hurts your feelings, you ignore it or worse, make excuses for it: “oh, she’s tired, hungover, too busy.”
Or maybe it’s your partner who continues to hit your butt when you walk by even though they know it triggers you. Instead of calling them out, you just ignore it but inside you’re seething every time they smack your ass.
I get it, it’s fucking hard to call people out! You’re afraid of the consequence that maybe they’ll be pissed off at you or try to fight with you.
It’s scary. Maybe you weren’t taught (how) to advocate for yourself growing up.
Maybe your mom or dad were passive and let everyone around them run all over them. Sigh…
Not a great role model fo’ sho’ but that’s no excuse for you letting the people in your life run all over you. Not anymore.
So, ask yourself this when a situation arises that you’re tempted to give them (yet another) pass or to “rescue” them from their own shitstorm that they’ve created.
“How is my helping, helping ME?”
Is letting them off the hook really helping you feel better? Improving your life and/or your relationship?
Is holding in the resentment and anger about them (yet again) taking advantage of you or disregarding your boundaries, really making that relationship better? Does it help you feel more centered and calmer?
More than likely it’s not and it doesn’t.
If that’s the case, take a stand. Resign yourself from this role you’ve self-assigned and don’t do it anymore.
Tell your sister it really hurts you that she disregards your life and schedule and does not honor your relationship by blowing you off.
Tell your partner that if they love and respect you, they will stop hitting your ass when you walk by.
And for the love of goddess, STOP doing that co-worker’s work when you have enough of your own!! Just tell them politely, “no I’m sorry, I don’t have time to do this for you.”
Try it! See how you feel!
Let this sense of empowerment and strength encourage you to continue to stop rescuing all this drowning people in your life.
As always, we can help you with this if you need it!