Are you a People Pleaser?
We thought we’d something “fun” for this blog post because most of us struggle with saying no, at least some of the time. And then there’s those of us (we see you) who struggle with saying no, ALL THE TIME.
We get it! If you were raised/programmed to be a people pleaser, saying no is harder than anything you’ve ever done before. You get anxiety just thinking about it! It makes you feel guilty/shameful/worried … you fill in the blank. We understand!
I actually struggled with this myself growing up because having agency over my own feelings and life was not allowed in my family of origin. Saying no was discouraged and not accepted too so I really had a hard time figuring this out. But guess what? I say no easily and gently all the damn time now and it feels great!!
So, for fun, we came up with 10 ways you can say no that are creative and different.
Here are 10 fun ways to say no if you are a people pleaser:
- No (this is a complete sentence by the way)
- Hell no
- No thank you
- Not right now
- It’s not a good time for me
- I’m not available
- Sorry, I can’t do that
- I’m not interested but thank you
- Fuck that shit (my personal favorite, haha)
- Maybe some other time (feel free to add “when hell freezes over”)
Do you see what we did here? There are many many ways to nicely or politely decline someone’s request of you, especially when you know deep down that it’s an imposition or a problem.
Try any of these when:
- That neighbor asks you for the 10th time to water their plants on their long weekend away and you have other plans.
- Your co-worker asks you AGAIN to cover for them at a meeting.
- Your brother wants you to take care of planning mom’s birthday dinner (for the 8th time), and you’re too swamped with your own life.
- You simply need to pay attention to how good you feel after you’ve said no in any creative way.
When you’re a people pleaser, sometimes having a script on hand to say back to someone when they’re edging into your personal space/time/life, is a great way to start setting boundaries.
It’s a great feeling to put some protective barriers in place against people who will try to take advantage of your kindness and generous spirit.
You got this!
If you have other creative ways to say no, let us know!! We always love having a packed toolbox with which to set our own boundaries and to help our clients achieve this as well. And if you need extra support right now, of course we’ve got you. You can schedule an appointment here. See ya soon!