Am I a perfectionist?
Hey girl. I see you… Ms Trying to be Perfect. In all things. In all ways. All the damn time.
Are you getting tired yet? Trying to be perfect all the friggin’ time sounds exhausting to me, so I know it’s gotta feel exhausting too!
Where did that need come from? I always wonder this in my own life, but we can typically trace it back to our family of origin and our environment growing up.
You know, those wonderful social media, internet, t.v., movie messages that tell us women should look like a skinny-ass skeleton, be beautiful, wear all the right clothes, say all the right things, do ALL the right things like a fucking rock star.
Whew. I don’t know about you, but it’s too much! That message is so skewed and incorrect, yeet it persists in sticking around, arrggh!!!
While perfectionism seems pretty benign, it’s actually linked to chronic stress which can cause physical symptoms in your body. It also can cause an increase in anxiety and depression because you are “never” where you think you “should” be. This creates an endless cycle of trying, “failing,” feeling shitty. Wash, rinse, repeat.
Obvi it’s a big deal to get a handle on it so that you can live your best life!
If you’re asking yourself “am I a perfectionist?” here are 3 questions to ask yourself to see if you are struggling with this:
1. Is there an area in your life that you are hyper-focused on and mentally beat yourself up over when you don’t “perform” the way you think you should?
2. Do you talk shitty to yourself, especially when you make mistakes or don’t do something quick enough, smoothly enough, perfectly?
3. Do you always feel deflated even if you complete a project, cross something off your list, or accomplish something?
If you were able to answer these questions definitively and with a yes or two, then you are struggling with perfectionism.
Okay, I’m a perfectionist. Great, so now what?
Baby steps babe.
- Where is one area you can work towards being “good enough” and giving yourself some grace when you don’t do something you want to do?
- Catch yourself when you are talking negatively to yourself and change it!!
- Turn the thought of “you suck, you didn’t finish it in time” to “go you! You finished the project finally even if it took a bit longer to do. You did it!!”
I know this sounds silly, but it totally works if you to do it each time you have a thought that makes you feel badly! Every time your perfectionism creeps in and tries to take over your brain. You can do this!
Next tip: get some extra support through therapy or coaching. This issue is very coachable and can respond well to specific directive action plans you and your therapist or coach develop together. As always, you can schedule now through our client portal to get started. We’ve got you!
