As a parent, you’ve surely had moments when you wanted to be there every step of the way in your child’s journey. Of course, this is not impossible — and it would also be counterproductive. You do your best to shield them, but for all the other times, one of the greatest gifts you can help give them is self-esteem.
No child will be immune from tough times. But self-esteem fills them with the courage, resilience, and confidence they need to cope and continue on their unique path. Your child will be impacted by many different influences, but you get to play the most important role.
Common Signs of Low Self-Esteem in Children
Such signs will, of course, vary according to age. For example, adolescents and teens may struggle when it comes to social media. That said, there are some universal trends of low self-esteem to look for in all children, for example:
- Negative self-talk
- Choosing to often be alone
- Shyness, unwillingness to talk, passive body language
- Struggles in school — from academics to social life and beyond
- Frequently comparing themselves negatively to others
- Being anxious about making mistakes
- An inability to move forward after a perceived failure
6 Ways to Build Self-Esteem in Children
1. Honesty
Your child does not want to be lied to. If they messed up playing sports or singing in the choir, there is no value in acting like it didn’t happen. Show them you can trust them by having honest but encouraging conversations with them in these situations.
2. Encourage Learning
From an early age, you need to assist your child handle challenging tasks. But the parallel goal must always relate to teaching them the skills they’ll need to be more self-sufficient. It could tying their shoes or it could be learning calculus. Be ready to support and guide them without making them feel they cannot survive without you.
3. Emphasize the Positive
Challenges are inevitable. But every scenario offers valuable lessons. Check your language, vocal tone, and body language when talking to your child about mistakes. They don’t need harsh words or lectures. Find ways to correct their behaviors that make it clear that they can and will do better. At the same time, take time to highlight what did go right and help appreciate the importance of focusing on self-improvement.
4. Prioritize Effort
Life as a child or adult is always about “winning.” It’s a good thing to comprehend the significance of effort. Cheer your children when they try their best and maintain a healthy attitude about life. A few suggestions:
- Identify their strengths and lean into them in times of struggle
- At the end of each day, ask them to list the good things that happened to them
- Express it when you’re proud of them and take pride in their effort and behavior just as much as any result
5. Nurture Their Friendships
Healthy friendships are a powerful builder of self-esteem. Gently encourage your children to value peers who respect them and make them feel comfortable. Guide them to become the kind of person that others appreciate as a friend.
6. Lead By Example
Your kids learn just as much from watching you as they do from listening. Be a positive role model. Demonstrate self-compassion, humility, integrity, grace, and confidence. Lead by example when it comes to managing adversity.
Ask for Help When Needed
Just as you’d urge your child to seek support, this is another way to be a role model. If you feel insecure about your parenting skills, talk to someone who can provide the kind of help described above. Therapy is a proven path for improving one’s self-esteem — no matter how old you are! We have a parenting coach on staff & both women and girl experts so you can get the support you need AND find a child therapist that can help their self-esteem grow as well. We’ve got you! Self-schedule now or reach out to us using our Contact Form.
