One of the most difficult times you may
experience in your life is when you find yourself going through the dreaded D
word: divorce. It’s not something you ever imagined would happen to you:
the pain can be excruciating! Picking up the
pieces of your blown up life can feel overwhelming and impossible … some days
the thought of staying in bed sounds amazing. How did you get here? How can the person you committed to for “forever,” now be someone you don’t even recognize? How are you supposed to share your children and downsize your life? You have so many unknowns and unanswered questions and aren’t even sure where to begin. The worse
part of it all is that the emotional pain is blinding which may be preventing
you from moving forward in a way that feels good for you. As someone who works with women going through a divorce, here are three tips that I’ve found to be helpful:
The first thing you should remember is that this will pass! Studies suggest that
the first one to two years of a separation are the hardest. This is the period of time where emotions are high and you and your ex are fighting more than working together.
This is NORMAL. Reminding yourself of this when you need to, can help you gain some control of your situation. Feeling in control can be super helpful during this uncertain
The second thing you could do is take care of
yourself! I know this sounds silly but so many of us forget to do this as we try to do it all. Fill your tank up! Do some things that recharge you: have dinner with a girlfriend, take a walk, read that book you’ve been meaning to, or just sleep in! If you don’t take care of yourself now, you won’t have the
reserve you need to handle what may be thrown your way.
Third, seek assistance from a trusted supportive person. Someone who’s been there, who can reassure you that what you’re going through is normal and someone who
can listen and support you unconditionally. Even if you have friends or family members who can be there for you, sometimes it’s great to have an unbiased person who’s there just for YOU. Finding a counselor who can provide this for you, can make all the
difference as you begin to shift gears and leave your old life behind. You can thrive after a divorce! Why not use this time to be the catalyst towards becoming a better you?
Divorce doesn’t have to be the end; it can be the start of a new life for you and for your children. I am here for you as are other therapists in the area so please reach out if you need to. You don’t have to do this alone.